Silent Sustained Goofing-Off

By: Jeff Lagasse

When I was a wee freshman coming to this school, SSR was a brand-new concept. Apparently, by forcing the students to stare at the clock blankly and pretend to read magazines, their reading would improve by a kind of osmosis. While I rarely read during SSR-- for that would defeat its purpose, of course-- I welcomed it as a much-needed break between third and fourth periods, a kind of safe zone in which I could forget everything I had learned that day and focus on the video games I planned to play when I got home. It also made the day seem shorter by lowering the amount of time I was required to actually think.

The most common complaint about SSR is that its pointless and boring, that it does nothing for the students because they all do what I do: stare at the clock and wish that I were cuddled on the couch at home. That was never my complaint, because even though my reading never really benefited from SSR, it was the only time during which I could drool on my desk and get away with it. My complaint came a couple of years later... when they moved SSR from the beginning of fourth period to the end of second.

During my first two years of high school, before I learned what the word endurance really was, I was usually pretty wasted by fourth period. I had just spent five hours or so learning about things I knew I would never need... which, by the way, is not conducive to anything resembling motivation. I needed that twenty minutes before fourth period started to regroup and prepare myself for the trial ahead, which at that time was trying to stay awake during history.

Then they moved it to the end of second period, and my little world of apathy was turned upside down. Now, all of a sudden, I had a break in the day when I didn't need it. I yearned for that extra time at the beginning of fourth period, and found that fourth period was a challenge without it. I pretty much want to leave school right after lunch, so I was not exactly enthusiastic about facing the last seventy minutes of the day without resting my head on a big, fat magazine (and looking at the magazines found in most classrooms, that's about all they're good for).

Let me explain why having SSR at the end of second period is dumb. For one thing, many students have lunch directly following SSR, so I can assure you that the last thing on their minds at that point is what they're pretending to read. Instead, they're thinking about downing a fat chicken burger roughly the consistency of cranberry jelly. For another thing, students are more prone to be thinking about things other than school during the few minutes before fourth period starts. Returning SSR to its rightful place would probably herald increased concentration on reading materials. At least from the people who don't use the time to stare at the clock.

You know what would be really interesting? If a poll were taken of high school seniors, who were freshmen when the SSR period was implemented, asking them if they thought that SSR was beneficial to their reading ability. Not to predict the results or anything... but let me predict the results. Probably seventy percent would find that the period did not help them.

There are many reasons why this might be. Maybe a student already has a reading ability that far exceeds the level of his or her grade and does not need the twenty minutes a day. Maybe a student chooses reading material that's sure not to improve anything, like a Nintendo magazine or the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition (which I'm sure wouldn't be "read," anyway). Or, maybe a student uses the SSR time the same way I do.

By watching the seconds tick by. Wait up for me, chickenburger, I'll be with you in a few.